Mission possible?
by Death's little side kick
Summary: Mission Possible:: a series of various missions that have been encountered by the G-Pilots. Sorry, I forgot to add, a series of INSANE missions faced by the pilots. DO they survive, well they have till chapter 3! CHAPTER 4 UP CHAPTER 4 UP
1. Messing with The master of Death

Raven: I got this idea when my sister and i were taking a stroll in the garden, actually secretly eating ice-creams from our brother, she helped me with this fan fic though we got into a heated discussion over who's best, Duo or Zechs, I say Duo! and that's final ^_^.  Reviewers, you tell who is the best Duo or Zechs!!!!

_Prologue._

12:00 a.m.

"Quatre what are you doing" Trowa asked as the blond jumped with fright hitting his head inside the fridge.

"Ice-cream" Quatre said taking out what looked like a mini-tub od choclate chip ice-cream.

"You don't want Duo to find out" Trowa said taking the ice-cream away from him. His eyes fell on the expiry date.

"Guess you're right" Quatre said leaving the kitchen.

Trowa still had his eyes locked onto the expiry date.

Mission possible: Messing with the master of death.

[insert Mission impossible music here]

12:30 a.m.

_It was sunny outside, spring was approaching, but it was still cold, the kitchen was dark, door locked, curtians pulled over the window, two lone figures stood before the huge thing illuminating the dark place with it's eerie light._

_One was sweating bullets the other carefully carriying out the perilous task, not making one sound. His bangs covered his face, which was sweating,, impossible for the author to figure out who he was, but since i'm writing this fanfic, i know who it is._

[A/N: I know something you dont know, i know something you dont know!]

"Do you think we should fo this" a voice whispered wiping of the sweat.

"He's bound to find out any day" a monotone speaker interjected.

"But still," the voice said hesitatingly.

"Look, he's locked up in his room now, listening to his CD's at 100 decibles, we are bored and he doesn't know about this," the monotone voice replied.

"Yeah but if we make one sound" 

"We won't now shut up, besides, i'm hungry" the monotoine voice said in a child like manner.

"Uh " the nervous voice said.

"Think of it as a mission"

The curtains were removed and the light dorwned the perfect soldier and the solitary dragon in action. Caught in the act. The two teens were smuggling mouth watering choclate chip ice-cream, complete with hershey's syrup, whipped cream, almonds and waffers. 

"Oh big deal we decide to have ice-cream once a while" Heero says to Raven.

"No! no big deal but how the heck are you gonna get those out with Duo on the same planet as you?" I ask.

"Beats me you're the one writing this fanfiction" Heero replies.

"Oh yeah" Raven says.

1:00 p.m.

Back to the fic. The two boys (Took half an hour just to get ice-creams out!!!!!!!!!!!!) after finishing their mission,

"I forgot to say, Mission accomplished" Heero said 

"Enjoy it, it might be your last" Wufei says.

"It's a possible mission Wufei, not like we're gonna get sick or anything" Heero said.

As quietly as possible leave the premissis with their prized possession.

Wufei is still shocked that they managed to get ice-cream without Duo knowing. He brought it though, hid it in the freezer and forgot about it. And if he ever found out the horrible truth of the slaughter of his ice-cream, Quatre had discovered it, so they could blame it on him. After hiding the evidence. 

The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, a beautiful bird sat down on a branch and...

BANG! BANG!

"What the HECK did you do that for?" Wufei asked bewildered as the bird dropped...........................dead on the ground.  
Heero just shrugged "Trieze shot birds, why can't  I?"

"And if Trieze self detonated you would too?" Wufei said.

"Yeah" Heero said agreeing with the idea. It was a good one though.

"Oh sure, if Trieze married Relena so would you, huh!" Wufei said as he held his ice-cream mug close to himself as Heero cocked his Gun again pointing at his Mug.

"I'm not that stupid" Heero said.

 A cat lauched it self on the bird and started eating it and finished it in seconds leaving the badly mutilated body behind.

"The circle of life" Heero said.

"Don't shoot that to!!!!!!!" Wufei said dangerously.

[A/N: I eat my ice-cream in a mug, it's fun when you make the cream out of it]

1:30 p.m.

The boys ate their ice-cream and decided to head in. No bird was harmed.

"Why don't we throw the mugs away so that Duo doesn't find out" Wufei said hopefully.

"Nah! He's too smart when it comes to food. Besides, we'll wash them, even if your honour and dignity get's singed" Heero said opening the kitchen door.

"Haven't you heard of forensic science!" Wufei called out. He went on to see Heero staring at the ice-cream mini-tub. Heero's stomach growled out loud as if it hadn't been fed for years.

"That's strange" Heero said, looking at the ice-cream again his stomach roared.

"Oh-no Heero, we had enough" Wufei said like a mother, after sensing Heero's next move.

"Oh come on, we'll get more for him," Heero said grabbing the tub and some big spoons.  

"Count me out!" Wufei said turning away.

"Okay!" Heero said calmly and went outdoors to enjoy the sunshine. Hopefully not kill more birds.

Wufei stood in the kitchen proud of himself for not eating, but, power of hunger was stronger than the power of pride.

"Wait Up Heero!!!!" Wufei said running outside to spend another hour outside. The best way to kill time. Eating.

2:00 p.m.

"I WIILL DOO THEE DANGER ZONE" Duo sang, he was still listening to his songs when his stomach alarm clock went off.

"Hey Duo what time is it?" Quatre asked as he was passing by.

"2 o' clock" Duo said getting up.

Quatre looked confused, he saw no clocks in the dark room of the death. Duo's door had a sign on it saying "Entering the room of death, be glad it isn't the valley of death", it reminded him of the poem called 'Charge of the light brigade'. 

"How can you be sure of that?" Quatre asked.

"Because i'm hungry" Duo said heading dowmstairs. 

Quatre shrugged and followed the hungry american. His hunger timings were always accruate. He turned to go downstairs when he remembered something, he started sweating bullets as his legs gave away, finally he jumped out the window.

2:10 p.m.

"See, that wasn't too bad was it Wufei" Heero said adjusting his sunglasses, sitting on his chair soaking up the sunshine, as well as the ice-cream while Wu-man was on a look out for braids.

 He sat on his chair, perched actually, his eagle's eyes, strong hearing and sense of smell for a perticular kind of shampoo was alert.

"Relax" Heero said. Wufei obeyed slumping back into his chair. Looking over at Heero he said

"Hey Heero gimme some"

"Nuh-uh" Heero said protectively shielding the ice-cream.

"Hey come on! I helped you get that" Wufei said annoyed.

"Help nothing! You just stood their, i did the perlious job" Heero said kicking his legs to keep Wufei back.

"INJUSTICE!!!!!" Wufei said as he sprang onto Heero who safely tucked the ice-cream under his shirt and used the spoons as defence.

"ICE - CREAM!" Wufei screamed.

"NO!" Heero yelled and kicked Wufei off of him, "I WIN, HA! MWAHHAHAHAHAH, I GET THE ICE-CREAM" he said dancing.

"Aww Phooey" Wufei said defeated "Nataku, I have failed you" 

"OH shut up!" Heero said as he rolled up a nearby newspaper and hit it on Wufei's egg -like-head.

 Suddenly a blur of blonde coming his way caught Wufei's eye. 

"Uhhh -What the heck is that!" Wufei said regaining conciousness, looking hard, "WHOA! O_O!''  the next thing he knew was being knocked out by that thing who fell on him.

"WHA! WHERE'S WUFEI! HURRY GET OUT!!!!'' Quatre said looking around frantically as Heero lifted his sunglasses and sweat dropped.

"Ahh- Quatre, you're sitting on him" Heero said at the sqwished Wufei who was still wondering what had happened to him. @_@*! 

"Who makes the sky blue and the grass green" Wufei chanted before passing out.

"What's you're problem" Heero asked at the very white Quatre.

"Duo! Eating! Freezer! Gone" was all Quatre needed to say before Heero grabbed him and Wufei and scooted towards the garage.

Far away a loud "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" and "DAMN IT" could be heard.

2:25 p.m.

"Aww man! My plans have been foiled yet again by someone far more evil than me" Duo said in an evil tone. Like Mojo jojo. "Curses" he said.

Trowa came into the kitchen.

"Hey Trowa! Any idea where my ice-cream went?" Duo asked calmly?

"Heero! Wufei! and Quatre ate it" Trowa said.

''Oh-no! they're in for a hell of a week" Duo said smiling and closing the fridge door. "Well serves them right for eating it!"

2:30 p.m.

"OOooo, my stomach hurts!" Quatre said getting in the car after getting the ice-cream tub. It was damn cold, the sky had turned grey, winds were howling, and worst of all, they were wearing nothing but knickers and T-shirts.

"Quit whining! Get in the car, we're lucky enough to be alive, can't be choosy you know" Heero said shivering.

"Hey! That's my line" Wufei said, his teeth rattled due to the cold. His stomach churning for inside, he needed to go bad. 

"Heero drive...."

"Quick!! I know, I need to go too" He said interrupting Quatre.

2:45 p.m.

"You're not angry that they ate your ice-cream?" Trowa asked. 

"Angry no! Mad! yes. I wanted to mail the expired ice-cream to Relena, for annoying us and her lackey Dorothy for painting my Gundam rainbow colour" Duo said glumly. "Vengance will be taken again my worthy friend" he said Count Daracula style.

"Okay now you're scaring me!" Trowa said, the sky had turned dark and lightening cracking.

"MWAHAHHAHAAHAHHAAH" Duo laughed as the light went out and lightening cracked.

 Oh-yeah! the death loves that weather, hide Trowa hide! MWHAHAHAHAHAAHAH

[A/N: okay i know i'm getting of the plot, i've lost track of my thoughts]

3:00 p.m.

"Heero........ the............. bathrooms mine" Quatre said straining to survive.

"NO........Must go to...........bathroom," Heero said, "Prevent leakages"

"FOOLS THE BATHROOM IS MINE" Wufei said running past them.

As the bathroom got near Quatre took a lamp and hit it on Wufei's head. Heero was shocked at the meek pacifist.

"Like Duo! When it comes to bathrooms, i go crazy" Quatre said looking like criminal.

"Ladies first!" heero said letting Quatre go in.

"Thank you" Quatre said. Inside the bathroom when his brain functioned.....

"I AM NOT A GIRL" Quatre shouted.

3:10 p.m.

Everyone had attended their nature calls, Heero had safely put the new ice-cream back into the freezer or fridge. he felt tired and went to his room, the lights had not come back yet, he heard a muffled sound from his closet. Taking a scissor? he approached with caution and opened the closet door.

"NAHHHHH- DON'T HURT ME!!" Trowa yelled weaving his baseball bat and hitting Heero. X_X!. 

"Heero?" he asked at unconcious pilot. 

"How thoughtful of you to remember me!" Heero said rubbing his head.

"I'm not in amnesia anymore" Trowa said

"Yeah but you were about to give me amnesia, maybe even brain wash me to rule the world" Heero said still rubbing his bump. Trowa had slapped his palm on Heero's mouth to kep him quiet and pulled him inside the closet closing the doors.

"Hey! What was that for" Heero angrily said. 

"Don't give Duo idea's like what you just said" Trowa said through gritted teeth.

"Why not!" Heero said dreading the answer. 

"Because he's gone nut's, he seeks revenge, berzerk i tell ya!" Trowa said.

"Come now Trowa you're being paranoid, he..." Heero was cut off by Duo suddenly opening the closet door.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" The two pilots cried.

"What are you doing?" Duo asked suspicously looking at their position. The closet was a cramped space filled with Heero's prized and precious weapons. The two pilots were sitting a bit too close. Too close.

 "Nothing" they both said.

"Okay, i'll leave you too alone" Duo said closing the door. "That was disturbing" he said exiting Heero's room. Back in the closet.

"What was soo disturbing?" Heero asked.

"Heero get off my lap" Trowa said.

"I'm not on your........aheh........lap" Heero said, apparently, when he yelled at Duo's sudden appearance, he had jumped onto Trowa, who was red. 

3:20 p.m.

"Wufei they might be in Heero's room" Quatre said.

"Like duh!" Wufei said.

Upon entering Heero's room, no pilots were seen.

"Where are they Winner!" Wufei asked.

Hearing two friendly voices Trowa and Heero fell out of the closet, along with some air guns.

"Nice hiding place Yuy!" Wufei said. Then he heard footsteps. Actually they all heard footsteps. The door opened and in came Duo all angry and lightning flashed again.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" The other pilots screamed and cowered together.

"Sheesh, will ya fix the light Heero!" Duo said turning on the light bulb.

"You're not going to kill us!" Quatre asked.

"Kill! You guys paranoid! No, just wanted to tell you one bad news" Duo said.

"What" all the ice-cream eaters said. Trowa backed away.

"That ice-cream was expired and three bathrooms are reserved for you gentlemens" Duo said 

Heero, Wufei and Quatre turned green and ran towards the bathroom.

Raven: WELL! that takes care of that. Moral of the fic, Never touch Duo's things without asking him first. If you guys want me to do a sequel, more Relena and Dorothy bashing is included in it, just say so, and give me suggestions how to torture the two. Try to keep it G rated. 


	2. Curing Heero's Hiccups

Raven: Long time no story right. I'm having a major writer's block. So the updates on other stories will take time. By that time enjoy this! I take back what I said earlier, this fic will now be a series of random insane ficlets. If I ever get a good idea, I'll torture Relena and Dorothy for you, by then, keep sending me your suggestions. How would you guys like to see your names with G-boys torturing Relena and cockroach brow?

Prelude

"Do I have to do it?" Duo asked paling at the thought of it.

"You have to! You know what he gets like when you don't do it" Quatre retorted putting his "Remedies book away".

"Don't remind me" Duo said shivering at a flashback.

"How did you manage to squirm yourself in that huge gutter" Wufei asked Heero.

"Goes to show you're getting fat Wu-man" Duo interjected.

"What! INJUS………" 

"INTERMISSION" Trowa shouted, interrupting Wufei's cry of justice, as he placed the hot and sour noodles in front of the unfortunate pilots. Seeing what Quatre was reading he said "No use reading that! I've already tried it, nothing but hiccup cures". After a light pause:

"Alright! I get the dibs on the first floor bathroom" Duo said digging in

Mission possible: Curing Heero's Hiccups

Ac 197, the G-boys joined the Preventers to busy themselves with something. All is well and the peace corruptors are in for in as all five boys leave out for there mission. Preparations delayed their usual time of departure as a braided Baka ate too much of Trowa's hot and spicy cooking. The others....

"Don't even ask!" Heero interjected [glaring at me]. "DUO HURRY UP, WE WOULD HAVE LEFT AN HOUR AGO" he shouted.

"No we don't, we still have an hour left to go besides, Is Trowa there?" Duo asked quietly

"NO!" Wufei shouted before Heero could answer.

"Ok" then he took a deep breath and "WHY THAT LOUSY COOK! I CAN'T TAKE HIS COOKING! IT'S TOO HOT!" taking in another deep breath, Duo came out, eyes closed and continued, "I'D RATHER EAT RELENA'S POISONOUS COOKING! IT'S TOO MUCH I……….I…Iee, yaee, yaee, yaee…" Duo stopped as he bumped into something, looking up (yes looking up) he stared into the fiery eyes of pilot 04……

 "He! He! Trowa my man! So nice to see you" he said sweating bullets as Trowa stretched to his full height, over shadowing poor Duo who looked too small, and cracked his knuckles. 

Another five minutes later 

"Snicker! Snicker" snickered Wufei.

"Oh! Shut up" Duo said taking out an ice pack and putting it on one eye. 

"Where are we heading" Heero asked.

"Romefellar headquarters" Quatre replied "There's something going on there, I guess something's never change!" he added looking at the laptop which displayed their mission briefing's.

"There's some unrest within that colony, Romefellar has been strengthening up its military force onto that single colony X- 403554" Trowa said. (A/N you must emphasize on every number) 

"Their base is there right?" Wufei asked.

"Romefellar is getting tired of this peace, so they think the best way to enjoy life is to take over a colony, create tension and world unrest and finally create havoc" Duo said removing the ice pack revealing his black eye.

"Yeah you're right! And keep lazy baka's like you active" Wufei added.

"What would you do if I hit you hard where it hurts?" Duo asked eyeing him dangerously with the eye he still had functioning.

"Take the worst thing you can imagine and multiply it by hundred" Wufei said in a sinister way.

"No really! What would you do" Duo said greatly annoying Wufei.

"Why don't you find out for yourself" Wufei said.

Another five minutes later

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Duo shouted while a speeding Wufei rocketed towards his unfortunate prey. 

Raven: O_O! Duo why the heck did you hit him!

Duo: He irked my curiosity

Later we see that Duo has two ice packs on his eyes. And they boarded a civilian shuttle and headed of towards their base in Colony L4 

Quatre: Their base?

Raven: Yes their base!

"Guys we need to plan out how we're gonna carry out this mission, we need to go somewhere where no one will get suspicious" Quatre said in a low voice.

"That's where you come in" Heero replied. Quatre pondered on what Heero had meant. Then mixed emotions came onto his face, first he was calm, then frowned, then gritted his teeth and said "What am I, your piggy bank" rather annoyed.

"Exactly" He said.

They entered the Winner enterprises building with a not so happy Quatre.

"The mission is quite simple, we just have to go in there and blow up all the mobile suits, free the hostages as well as take their base under control" Trowa said sitting on the sofa.

"Whoopee" Duo said unenthusiastically going into bathroom (and don't worry dear readers, his eyes were fine now)

"Destroying the suits is easy but what exactly do you mean by saying take over?" Heero asked Trowa.

"When we destroy their mobile suits, we'll call for back up and Noin and the others can take it from their" Trowa said.

"Well this should be piece of cake" Duo said from inside the toilet.

"Seems easy! But without our Gundams, were out numbered, 5 to 10,000 soldiers, we have to opt a way in which we won't be noticed" Trowa said.

After a long pause…

"Ventilators" they all said simultaneously

 "Truly is a blessing" Duo said smiling, but then he saw something scurrying across the floor. He released the safety lock on his gun.

"But won't we need a diversion entering the building" Quatre said.

"Winner, that buildings heavily guarded, a person stupid enough to shoot a cockroach with a Colt S.I. 7mm, model number 5294 gun is right for the job" Wufei said.

Heero, who was lying on the bed, eyes suddenly, flew open "Isn't that the same gun that Duo has?"

Just then a loud HEEEEYAAAAAAAA came from the bathroom followed by a gun shot. Duo broke the door down while a brown blur went by.

"YOU WON'T GETAWAY THIS TIME YOU FIEND!!!!" Duo shouted exiting after the cockroach who sat on Wufei's head.

BANG! BANG! The bullets whizzed pass Heero's bangs ---//O\\o\\--- and headed towards Wufei who remained still. After a lot of havoc created by the God of insanity, things calmed down. Wufei was still in his position.

"Wufei?" Duo asked. Seeing his transfixed white eyes and face, Duo touched him with a finger and Wufei fell down. 

"Oh he's fine" Duo said looking up and staring at the pilots who were staring at him with an expression he did not like. "What?" he asked.

Later…

"OH NO!" Duo shouted.

"OH YES" the others shouted.__

"NO way I'm gonna do something crazy like that!" Duo said crossing his arms.

"Duo Improvise, you'll get to do all the CRAZY things you wanted to do" Quatre suggested. The God of death smiled mischievously at that comment, and managed to hatch another one of his crazy plans.

At the mission…

"Heero I'm going to throw the knockout gas, Quatre and Wufei will be on the other side by now" Trowa said.

"Got it" Heero said adjusting the harness around his waist. "Duo, you all set" he said in the walkie talkie.

"Yup, just make sure you're wearing those ear plugs" Duo said at a far off distance left towards the building. "Bass: full, Volume: full, treble: full!" he said. With the push of one button the whole base started vibrating.

"EVERYTHING SO BLURRY, EVERYONE SO FAKE, EVERYBODY'S EMPTY AND EVERYTHING IS SO MESSED UP"

He had blasted Puddle of mudd: Burry on top till your eardrums started excruciating.

"I WONDER WHAT YOUR DOING, I IMAGINE WHERE YOU ARE, THE'RE OCEANS IN BETWEEN US, BUT THAT'S NOT VERY FAR"

Heero had felt the vibrations and he and Trowa after throwing the knockout gas, firing at three guards, entered the ventilators. Soldiers ran past each other as ants would in a situation. They covered their ears due to the deafening sound coming from the left wing of the building. By now Duo had entered the ventilation system and the soldiers had massacred the woofers. 

"Heh! I've always wanted to do that" he said turning left and right in that squashed maze. A few explosions told him that the mobile suits were destroyed.

Later all of them met at the top of Romafeller's acting commander's office. 

"Okay! I have to contact Noin to get here" Trowa said.

"The sooner the better I'm cramped" Wufei said. "Duo could you move over and get off me" he said at the braided pilot.

"Well I would if there was any where to go" Duo said from above Wufei. "Man this is disturbing" he said glumly.

"Why you little…"

"Wufei you're not the only one suffering so shut up" Heero said next to a squished Quatre who was crushing him.

 "Shh, someone's coming" 

"That's their leader?" Heero said.

"Kinda tall isn't he" Trowa said.

"Wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy tall" Duo said wide eyed, staring at the six foot and 5 inches commander.

"Heero move over I think I'm getting a cramp" Quatre moaned.

"Quatre this no time for….. Hic!" Heero said but to be interrupted rudely by a

"Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic!"

All the G-boys clamped their hands on his mouth.

"Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic!" Heero still said as all the pilots stared at him in awe. Quatre's cramp was long forgotten.

The extremely tall, bald man in the room looked up to see what the cause of all the infernal noise was. Thinking it was only his mind playing tricks with him he returned to his work of giving orders. Heero was by now sweating like hell with all the pilots vibrating as they had their hands on Heero's mouth. A soldier came in saluting his commander.

"Commander! We haven't found the enemy yet! But we're pretty sure that they are here somewhere" a soldier said.

Heero had stopped hiccupping; the pilots took their hands off and listened quietly. 

"Get back up! That enemy is still here! I can feel it" He said feeling something on his head.

Trowa noticing how the man felt their presence pulled Duo back as he was breathing 7 inches away from his head. Duo mouthed the words:

"Well it's not my fault they make these damn ceiling to short" 

"Right away sir"

"HICCU…." Another hand slammed on Heero's mouth, interrupting his hiccup, in time too.

"Did you hear that?" the commander asked

"Yes sir! It came from the…." The soldier's sentence was cut by his commander taking out a gun and shooting the ventilator. Blood slowly oozed out of the numerous holes. 

"Sir should we see who……….."

"Never mind that! Whoever it was, is dead now" with that said the commander and soldier exited the room.

"MMMMMMMMMmmmmm! I love ketchup" Duo said licking his finger in one of the ventilation duct connecting to the one in which they previously were in.

"Heero! Hey Heero you alright!" Wufei asked concerned who was in opposite shaft to Duo.

"Hic…Hic…Hic…Hic...Hic…Hic…Hic" said a very white Heero shaking.  

"Good to know you're okay! NOW GET OFF MY HEAD" Quatre said in a muffled voice from beneath Heero.

"Boy if I ever get my hands on that guy I'll KILL HIM" Trowa growled mending his bang.

A replay of the situation:

The bullet is advancing towards the pilots whose eyes widen with shock and unexpectedness. The bullet had whizzed passed the middle of Trowa's bangs, who was looking down, and he got up close and personal with the bullet. It had split his hair in two sections 

(NO THEY DID NOT COME OFF JUST SEPARATED FROM THE MIDDLE LIKE THIS: 

//_O\\)

Duo had poured some diluted ketchup as finishing touches. (With him you never know what he brings along)

The boys had skedaddled in a crucial moment in a packed ventilator. Wow!

Wait! What are we gonna do about Heero's hiccups, it's a shame to the masters of stealth" Wufei said. Heero glare and hiccupped.

"Scare them away" Duo suggested. "But the mission is almost complete we'll help him later"

"We need to go separate ways to find a control room, free hostages and get outta here" Quatre said, his bangs displaced. " 

"Hmm!" Trowa grumbled "Heero you're coming with us, Duo, Wufei go find a control room, you know what to do!" he growled. They both nodded and headed out. He grabbed Heero who just said "Hic...hel…HIC!.. Help…hiccup…me"

"How many hostages are there?" Quatre asked when he cooled down. 

"Hic! Fo..! Hic! Four" Heero managed to say.

"Quiet! We're above the prison room," Trowa said looking down he said, "There are two delegates from the colonies and…" But he was interrupted by Quatre who had also bent down to scan the room blocking his view.

"Oh! Miss Relena what are we to do" (guess who said that). 

"DOROTHY!!!!" Quatre screamed in fear in the ventilator and with a thump hit his head.

"Oh wow! The knights in shining armor are here! I'm coming Quatre" she said playfully.

"Get out of my Hic!" Heero said. Dorothy had somehow managed to climb up to the ventilator and Quatre had skedaddled out of there. Heero came forward and out popped Relena!

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" He shouted trailing after Quatre and also bumping his head. After a while he said

"Hey! My hiccups are gone, what a relief"

Afterwards, Noin came with back up and got Quatre out whose cramps had returned after Heero's hiccups went away.

_Epilogue_

At Home Duo was reading the book of remedies. Putting it down, he went in for the kill.

Heero was enjoying the comfy couch while an enemy lurked. With great stealth ness he approached and said in a girl's voice:

"HEEERRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"  

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Heero jumped at the unexpected call.

"Hey! Heero! Did I scare your hiccups away?" Duo asked eagerly. His only reply from above the fan was

"Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic!"

Raven: Well! Did you like it! Review please. Flames will be laughed at. I only got till now in my other stories, two flames. Cool!


	3. The Master of pranks

**Raven: I GOT AN IDEA!!!!!!!OOHOHOHOHOH!!!!!!! **

**Duo: My how excited she gets when a story comes to her mind**

**Heero: Better (hic!) be (hic!) a good (hic! hic!) one!**

**Mission**** Possible: The Prank Master**

The G-boys were taking a light holiday after their last mission called by Duo "Operation hiccups", they stayed in that current colony in which they kicked Romafeller's butt. They had rented separate apartments, far away, each pairing up, courtesy of Heero: who didn't want to be near the braided Baka and enjoy the silence with Trowa, Wufei stayed alone. That leaves the pilot 02 and 04 alone. (04 is Quatre right)  

"Right so Quatre what you want to do?" Duo asked as he jumped onto the sofa.

 "I don't know you got any Ideas?" Quatre replied.   

"Yes I do; let's play some jokes on people." Duo said giving of an evil grin. 

"Right who should we get first?" Duo sniggered. "Let's practice on the guys first"

"What about Heero and Trowa?" Quatre said.

"Quatre didn't know you had it in you" Duo said in a shocked way. "Okay what should we do?"

"Prank calls?" Quatre suggested.

"Quatre my man, I'm proud of ya" Duo said happily as he rang Heero and Trowa's apartment

************

In the apartment

RIINNGGG!!!!!RRRINNNGGG!!RINGGG!!!

"Mnnn" A groan escaped from the covers. Turning around he ignored the wails of the phone.

RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!! The phone shrieked to get noticed.

"Alright! Alright! I coming" Trowa muttered, he looked over to Heero who was sleeping peacefully. Grumbling he got up, shuffling as he walked.

"Hello!" he grumbled. 

In a squeaky voice Duo replied "Hello is your refrigerator running"

"Yes" Trowa said grumbling

"THEN GO GET IT"

He put the phone down. If he hated something, it was being disturbed by annoying prank calls. Heero's gonna pay for this.

*************

Back in their apartment Duo was laughing hysterically with Quatre staring at him, little exclamation marks and question marks appearing above his platinum blond hair.

"Okay now you try" He said handing the phone to Quatre.

 He took hold of it and rang the number.

*************

In he apartment…again

RINGG! RING! RINGG!        

"Hnn! Trowa go get the phone" Heero grumbled. Trowa got out of bed muttering something about injustice. 

CRACK!! RIPP!!

"Here you go" Trowa came in handing him the phone complete with line torn off.

Heero: //O//O\\! 

Trowa shrugged. 

RINNGGG!!!RINNGG!!!! rang the other phone in the apartment.

"I mean go answer the phone" Heero growled drowning back into the covers. Trowa frowning caught hold of his collar and Pj's, held him up like a rug and kicked him out the room.

"Go answer it yourself" He said closing the door and returning to the warmth of his blankets.

Heero grumbling answered the phone Heero Yuy style "Yeah! What your problem"

"Ahem!" a slight pause, then, "HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" a shrilly voice came that racked Heero's brains and frightened the living daylights out of him. 

BANGG!!!

He rocketed back to his covers after shooting the phone. And as a precaution, he brought his gun along with him!

Meanwhile Duo stared at Quatre gape-jawed who smiled back like an angle, finally stating

"I practiced"

"Okay let's try something else" Duo said.

"What about Wufei Chang" Quatre said.

"Hmm, not a bad idea! Haven't bugged Wu-man in a while" he said.

"He lives in an apartment three blocks away" Quatre replied looking in the address book.

"Then lets go" Duo said standing up.

***********

They ran for ages and cried because Duo's feet hurt three times but after half an hour of moaning they got there. Duo and Quatre took a little time to rest. The apartment he was living in was a tall green building, with lots of balconies, with all sorts of weird curtains, Quatre liked the sunny beach one with flowers Duo hated them all! Except the one which had Deathscythe's on them.

They started to walk through a small garden at the front. It looked as if it hadn't been tended to for years the grass was so long you could hide dead bodes in there and know one would ever find it. 

Duo said "I hope no mobile suit come out of there and ambush us, ha ha ha ha ha" 

Quatre took it seriously and tried to run away!!! Duo grabbed him and looked at him and said "I was joking" he lifted Quatre to his feet.

"Right so what prank should we pull on him" Duo asked Quatre.

"I don't know it was your idea" Quatre said.

"Well lets do a good old fashion knock and run" Duo said.

"What's a knock and run?" Quatre said.

"Don't you know anything?" Duo shouted at him. Quatre's eyes were blank.

 "Watch I'll show you what to do, and then you do it okay" Duo explained

"Okay" He replied.

Duo walked to the front door opened it and they both went inside. Duo found Wufei's door and knocked hard and ran around the corner of the hallway. 

"Right now we wait" Duo explained.

Wufei put his head through the door and said how there is "silence". He put his head back inside and closed the door. Duo laughed quietly so as to not attract any attention from Wufei.

"Right now you try" Duo said to Quatre.

"Okay" Quatre said he walked to the door and backed it.

Ring!

The door opened and Wufei asked what he wanted.

Quatre said "I'm doing knock and runs" 

Wufei looked shocked, them angry and kicked him out the doors.

Duo just put his face in hands and said "Why me!!! Why me!!! I'm mates with a thick idiot"

**_The End_**

Raven: He! He! Sorry my mind is still blank as how to torture the two demon girls. Relena and Dorothy. I thought of tweezing her eyebrows and for Relena, I wondered what would happen if she gave up being a pacifist. Review please.


	4. Doing the laundry with Duo around

Raven: I GOT ANOTHER IDEA HOHOHO!!!

J.A *chibi watery eyes*: What do you mean YOU got an idea?? IT WAS MEEE!!!! (Poor muse's feelings are hurt) 

**Mission**** Possible: Making Duo does his own laundry**

For years and years hygiene has played an important role in keeping the human being looking good and feeling good. People felt the need to wash their clothes and so from washing in streams, we now wash in places where you get a washing machine, soap, dryers and sofa's to let the machines do their work, this place is called the Laundromats (can be called something else somewhere else)! People are happy with that because they get to keep their clothes clean. Same is in the case of Heero Yuy, Quatre Winner, Wufei Chang and Trowa Barton. All are very keen on going to the Laundromats every weekend. But in the case of Duo Maxwell, it is quiet the contrary………..Well it is ALWAYS contrary in the case of Duo Maxwell. Why, because the braided pilot cannot stand to stand around some dumb machine doing its work. It is not only time consuming, but boring as well. So do the math Bored Duo + nothing to do = Havoc or some sort of stupidity. So usually he let others deal with his dirty work. But NOO! He has much to learn about human nature, human nature can tolerate oppression to a certain extent, and so this is why on a lovely Saturday, the other Gundam pilots dragged this Gundam pilot to his deal with his OWN dirty work. Evil aren't they!  

**********

'Grumble! Grumble! Grumble!' Grumbled Duo pouting with expertise. Not too much, not too little. They arrived at the place, the sacred home of cleanliness and utter boredom. The scent of perfumed soaps came rushing towards them and up his nose causing it to twitch with annoyance. 

"Damn place doesn't even have ventilators" He mumbled which of course the others ignored skilfully. He went up to a washing machine, next to him Heero had bent down to adjust the settings of the machine. Like I said before Bored Duo + nothing to do = Havoc or some sort of stupidity, quickly grabbing the powdered soap, he in a blurred motion of his hand poured some of it on Heero's head. The Japanese boy just looked up at him with a suspicious glare; Duo just raised an eyebrow and went back to reading. 

"Nimru Kanyou" He said to himself still pretending to read. It was fun to quote Heero in Japanese now and then he thought. After a while Heero had thrown his lot into the machine, the powder still on his head, miraculously. He turned to look at Duo who was looking dumbly and nervously at his machine as if in search of something. 

"Don't tell me you don't know how to use those things" Heero said in his usually dead tone. Getting no answer from the 02 pilot, only to see that he was turning a pretty shade of red didn't help Duo either. 

"I thought you were a mechanic" Heero said half amused. 

"………………….just tell me where do you put the soap baka yarrow" Duo said, half mad at him, and half mad at himself at his stupidity. Ah well Heero looked stupider with the small hill of soap still on his head. That surely helped him to smile as Heero showed where he put the soap in. Duo Maxwell then succeeded in putting in the soap in its rightful place, a place which was not hard to find but he covered it up by saying that he was distracted by the smell, which he was.

He poured in the soap, but he was leaning to close, that in turn made him sneeze, the result: he put it too much soap without noticing. 

FINALLY Duo Maxwell had succeeded in finally throwing his clothes in the machine. He turned to the rest with a satisfied smile but was ignored. 

"As usual" he thought. 

"Duo you might as well sit down because it will take a while" Quatre said flipping the page of his magazine. 

"How long are we trapped in here?" Duo said seating himself next to Quatre. 

"Quiet a while" was all the blonde said. Duo looked around to see other people chatting away endlessly. He turned to the people on his right; the three fellow pilots all sat, saying nothing, not moving, like zombies. This bored Duo a lot, what he did notice was that Heero had come back from the…wait a minute, where had he come back from, and why was he glaring his worst glare that usually means someone has done something, that means he had done something, and he noticed that his face was flushed and his hair devoid of anything powdery, well maybe a little. He came up stood in front of Duo, still glaring! 

"Uhh Hi Heero, did I mention about that 'dandruff' problem you had" Duo said grinning and pointing to his head. 

**WHACK!! **

For all Duo knew was that this was not the end. He rubbed his head and saw Heero had hit him with a magazine. 

"I'll be damned the day if I don't sue him for child abuse" He said still rubbing his head. Heero had the talent to make the most innocent thing a deadly weapon. 

 Wufei who had been watching asked Heero what happened. Heero just glared. Just then a little girl of about 4 years of age with her mom went by; the little girl said rather loudly pointing her eager finger towards Heero

"LOOK MOMMY IT'S THE GUY WITH THE WHITE SHIT ON HIS HEAD" 

Duo has never ever in his entire life till now, had strained so much as to not let his laughter out, his stomach was starting to hurt because he wouldn't let out any of the laughter, he would when they got back. The others to tried to keep quiet as the pilot of Wing just sat fuming and burning and turning so red that Duo thought he might catch fire. Quatre was not at all succeeding in trying to control himself; he kept shaking with laughter behind his magazine. Trowa had his hair to hide his smile, Wufei, well Wufei was an open person who never hid anything from anybody except if it were necessary to, and in this case it was, because, pretty soon, he'd been staring into the barrel of Heero's gun.       

"Dammit I should have brought along my camera"

"Hey Duo, what's say we go get something to eat, I need to get out of this place" Quatre said still giggling uncontrollably. He agreed as he needed to let it out to, badly. 

*********

After a while, the two pilots came back after having a good laugh and a bite to eat. As Duo opened the door, he was greeted with a flood of foamy, soapy material that washed away both him and Quatre

"HEY! Isn't this my boxer?" Duo said holding the black cloth. He managed to make his way in the Laundromat, all that was left here was fluffy soapy material ankle length; he was met by another un-welcomed customer: Heero's rage + Wufei's obscenities + Trowa's disapproving look + the managers shouts. 

"BAKA!!!!" Wufei said and he attacked Duo, only to be stopped by Trowa who said 

"What good will you get by breaking his spleen Wufei" 

"Yeah Chang, besides, you needed a bath" Duo said backing away. Heero caught him by the collar.

"Do you realise how much soap you put in?" Heero inquired

"No" Duo said meekly. 

"You put all of it in" Heero answered. But did that have any effect on Duo Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

"Do you realise what we're gonna do to you when back?" Heero again asked. 

"Something really bad" Duo replied. 

"Worse" Heero said glaring. Did that have any effect on Duo Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

"Do you realise that whose gonna pay for this mess" Heero asked again. 

"Uhhhhhhhhhh" was all that Duo said. 

"You are" Heero answered letting him go. Did that have any effect on Duo Yessssssssssssssssssssssssssss! 

 "Let's just go home" Quatre said coming in, he hiccupped and a few bubbles left his mouth.   
 "Good idea" Duo said. 

"Hold it right there pally, YOU are going to clean up here after we leave" Heero said meanly. That left Duo wanting to bash his head against the wall. Admitting defeat, he turned to face the mess, and sighed. 

"Just let me dry my stuff" Duo said going up to a washing machine. He paused; he looked around at the other machines, then the one he was in front off. He opened it and put his hand in. Picking up something soft he brought it into light.

"NANI??? I don't wear a bikini" he said blushing. "Wrong machine" He sat up to face his NEW dilemma. Which machine had his clothes in it?  

"QUATREEEEE" He whined. 

"What now Duo?" He asked as he put his clothes into the dryer. 

"I…uh….well…which laundry is mine" Duo said scratching his head. 

"You mean you can't even recognize your own clothes?" Wufei said in disbelief. 

"What's to recognize!" Duo protested "Underwear is underwear" 

"Well we'll have to check every single one" Quatre said. 

"Do we have to?" Wufei asked. 

"Yes" 

"Humph" He said reluctantly, seating the braided baka on a stool. 

*******

_After what seemed to be like an hour_

"Anything….ring a bell in that peanut sized brain of yours" Wufei said tired, tired of being here and of lifting clothes in front of Duo. Meanwhile Duo wasn't making things easier; he sat there with a blank look.

"I've never seen it before in my life" He said in a zombie like trance. 

"What about this thing…." 

"Just another jean..." 

"Duo, what about this shirt" 

"MY SHIRT!!! MY BEAUTIFUL SHIRT, THANK YOU" Duo screamed. He leapt out of his chair and hugged Quatre so hard that his eyes were popping out. 

"Okay, now that the tearful reunion has been done, lets go" Wufei said and he was out the door the next instance.

"Hey Duo weren't you supposed to clean MPHMMM" 

"You don't tell anyone, I won't tell anyone, and well BOTH stay in one piece," Duo said this to a mumbling Quatre, a mumbling and angry, vein popping Quatre.

 "Besides, I'll give buy you a lemon tart of you keep quiet" Oh this sure clamed the struggling blonde down. Duo knew his weaknesses, and boy was it a cheap one. 

 This settled, they both went out and towards the nearest bakery. What would happen to Duo when he faces Heero again, well, that would be another case. For now all he could say was "Mission accomplished"

********

Raven: HEHEHE, Heero, you should really check that dandruff problem of yours. 

Duo: Nah! Dandruff has a new name "White shit" MWAAHAHAHAHHAHAAHHA

Heero: OMAE O KOROSU DUO *pulls out a really, really LARGE scissor* 

Duo: Eep! *the chase begins*

Trowa *to Quatre whose eating his prised possession* I thought your sisters told you not to eat any more of those! 

Quatre *looks at Trowa* you won't tell them, I wont tell them, we'll stay in one piece.

Trowa *matter of fact-ly way*: It doesn't work on me Quatre! 


End file.
